Don’t let age put you off and don’t let being a solo parent put you off

'' I  thought, would I regret trying and it not working out or would I regret never trying on my own. I always came back to I’d rather try and it not work than having never tried and always thought about it.'' 

I went through the process as a solo mum. I made that decision as I’d been married previously, but divorced for a long time. I travel around for my job so I haven't really met anybody to start a family with. I’d been thinking about doing IVF as a solo mum since before Covid. I did the webinar to start with and you do get a lot from that.

''I decided to do it on my own'' 

I wasn’t eligible for NHS treatment because I’d just turned 42 , single parents aren’t entitled to any funding from the NHS or certainly that was the case when I started. I started looking when I was about 39/40.I trolled the internet and read into all the statistics and initially it was Mild IVF treatment that appealed to me. I wanted something that would be better for my body. I looked at statistics and across the UK CREATE has the better statistics for women over the age of 40.

''I thought, I’ve just got to put everything into this and if it doesn’t work at least I know and at least I tried. ''

The initial scan and consultation with CREATE was reassuring. The consultant explained the results and what they recommended. She explained it all, like PGTA and why that would be useful, because I’ve had a miscarriage and my age. I was a bit apprehensive wondering how my body would react to the medication which is why I went for one round of mild IVF and I felt really excited that it was finally happening and wanted to get going with it.

I didn’t really expect it to work but I also didn’t put any pressure on  myself. I didn’t want anyone to put me off. I thought it’s my decision and it’s my life. Other people may not agree with me being an older solo mum but I’m fit and I’m healthy and financially I can do it so I’m just going to do it and I was kind of determined to not let anybody put me off. I just took each stage as it came.

One of the most difficult parts is picking the donor. I looked at all the banks in the UK and there wasn’t anybody that met my criteria so I ended up going to Denmark. There’s lots of different criteria but I think once I’d done that it didn't feel as stressful. CREATE were really helpful at Birmingham and kept in contact with me and I kept them updated with the date I thought the sperm was going to arrive at the clinic. I was relieved it was within the right cycle and I could start my treatment.

''One embryo came back perfect, and that’s my daughter''

The embryologist was brilliant and it was the same person that called me each day which was lovely. In the end we sent four to PGTA testing and he worked with me and explained the stages they needed to get through. He tested 6 or 7 embryos and left them for another 24 hours and called me back and I had to make a decision on how they survived that process.

''Everyone was really nice and understanding and would answer my questions''

I went for the implantation which was quite scary but everyone’s really lovely and they do it all the time. They put your mind at ease. A few weeks later I took the pregnancy test. I expected to go skiing at Christmas because I didn’t think it would work and then I found out I was pregnant.

The embryologist and I built up a really good relationship even though we’d never met. When there were things I didn’t understand he would be happy to explain again. He took the time to explain things to me and I felt that I made the right decision in sending four embryos for testing. I felt as though I made an educated decision.